Conflict Management
When dealing with abusive or people who show signs of anti social behavior it
is important that you don’t to be rude or aggressive to them just be firm and communicate clearly. Tell the
offender that their behavior is unacceptable, tell them not to be rude, aggressive or touchy feely, tell them
firmly what your concern is and chances are they will calm down.
But, unfortunately, some people aren't going to listen the first time and some won't listen at
all, I have some simple self defence techniques for you to use if they persist. However they may just need to be
told again in a clearer firmer way.
In many situations violence is not necessary and in many situations where violence may follow,
90% can be de-escalated. It just means that you need to communicate more clearly. If the person remains aggressive
in the way they speak or continues to act aggressively you may consider leaving the situation and you possibly
should not socialize around that person, if by some chance the person is family or close to a member of the family
make sure you tell people that the person is not your favorite social friend and keep all contact minimal, don’t
sit at the same table and don’t get into long conversation with them. You can still be polite and courteous just be
careful.
If the person becomes angry and you fear they will attempt to grab or hit you, you should move
away, if you are sitting down stand up or if you are standing step sideways (not forwards or backwards. By stepping
sideways it is generally easier to slip some one’s grasp turn and face the person (check out our self defence
classes), and calmly say loudly (don't act angry or emotional)” take your hands off me” or “don’t touch me”, Also
let them know that you will call the police if they assault you in any way. If you are in fear of your safety
leave, if the person makes threats and you fear for your safety call the police or go to the police station, if you
can’t leave call the police.
If a person is angry it is often the options that you take that will de escalate the situation,
stay calm and communicate is the answer.
Notice, in all of these cases, I'm talking about anti social
behavior.
Sometimes people get attacked, raped, beaten, or murdered by people who deliberately set out to
do so or by people whose method of communication is by intimidation and physical force.
A minority of people choose to become gangsters and serial killers, we must do everything
possible to recognise and avoid them, in the next section we briefly examine these type of people.
Understand your assailant:
He is possibly bigger and stronger than you, desperate, determined, capable cunning and
dangerous. They will pick a target they feel is vulnerable. In order to get what he wants, the criminal needs
to:
a. Get close to
you
b. Get you alone
Never listen to potential assailants. They will always lie. Note: ;Ted Bundy had charisma, he
was smart and convincing. Your personal space is valuable, don’t give it up. He is cunning. He will think of ways
to get close to you. He will not jump out and yell stick ‘em up.
There are 3 ways that your assailant will try to get close to you.
1. Approach you
2. Have you come to him
3. Use the environment
Self Defence
They will try to catch you off guard; your priority is to avoid these people by using proper
avoidance strategies however potentially you could find yourself in a precarious situation you may need to
look at self defence information and training.
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